Today, I did something completely out of my comfort zone. I was challenged to do something that was meant to push me to a new level of personal growth. At the beginning of this year, I told myself that this will be the year that I do things completely different… for myself, for my business, and for my family. I told myself this was the year I was going to get comfortable being uncomfortable doing all things that scare me. Today, I recorded my first podcast episode!
People create podcasts every day. Why is mine such a big deal?
It is a huge deal to me, but why is it exciting for you? I’ll let you be the judge.
Let me backtrack to where it all started for me. Rewind to 2010, I graduated from graduate school with my Master’s degree in Public Relations and I was excited and eager to get into the world to start working, you know, do the corporate life. I had a vision. A Sex in the City vision. My friends and I, climbing the corporate ladder, living in Tribeca, going to lavish parties in the city, traveling to exotic locations, sprinkling our black girl magic all over! It was my dream life until I couldn’t get hired in Public Relations for the life of me. Anyone who graduated in those years and remembers how tough it was to get a job. So I did the next best logical thing. I went back to waitressing. Quick, easy money on a part-time schedule that allowed me to still somewhat support my city life dreams.
When I finally did get a “big girl” job, I quickly realized how far from my dream it actually was. I bounced around from one office to another hoping to find a job that felt right, but I literally hated every job. But I stuck it out because that’s what adults do. Adults do not have jobs they actually like.
In 2016, I started working at a marketing firm that felt right. I thought, “this is it. This is the one!” And again, it started out great. I’ve noticed all the jobs start out great. And then, it hit me that it was a job at the end of the day. I had a boss I had to report to. I had coworkers that I didn’t particularly like. I had tasks that I didn’t want to do. Then it dawned on me that this is what people did. They go to college, they get jobs and they work and they work and they work until they retire with the hopes that they can collect some kind of social security or pension. I was slowly slipping into a depression. This could not be what I signed up for when I was in a rush to grow up.
I would cry every single morning before commuting to work. I would give myself a pep talk in the car just to get into the building. I caught myself many times throughout the day going to the bathroom to compose myself because I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, as I sat at my desk. I felt so trapped. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
What happened next was something out of a fairy tale. To this day, I still cannot believe this happened.
To hear my full story, listen to my first podcast episode Finding Your Voice
Have you ever had a soul-sucking job? What did you do about it?
I’d love to hear your story. Comment below!